I’m waking up

November 18, 2016

As I start constructing my happiness project there are a lot of areas in my life I want to look at. I’ve decided to take the plunge and December will be month 1 out of my 12 month program. That means I have a little less than 2 weeks to create a clear and measureable roadmap to destination happy…

Clutter is an obvious one and like Gretchen this will probably be my first area of focus. We moved into our home about 2 months ago and haven’t completely unpacked so I’ve been spending a lot of time organizing, unpacking and purging to make December easier for myself. I’ll need to de-clutter my mind, office and email as well.

Energy. Again, similar to Gretchen I think the next obvious step would be focusing on increasing energy to prepare myself for the next 1o goals. That includes exercise, nutrition and sleep. In the last few weeks I’ve really improved in all 3 of those areas, and I’m looking forward to having a real game plan to truly ingrain some good habits into my day to day life.

From there I am having a really hard time prioritizing what comes next.

Be More Sam is another major goal. This has been nagging me for a very long time now even if I couldn’t really put words to what I was feeling. One day my co-worker left a present on my desk, and the message was loud and clear. The book was The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck, by Sarah Knight and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. At the time it felt like I was having the same argument over and over with my husband. Our group of friends have big get togethers. Sometimes it’s a ski trip, sometimes it’s a masquerade new years party, or sometimes it’s just a birthday get together but there is always 20+ people and I found after a while I was getting bored and frustrated, but couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong with me. Jared couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me either and it was becoming a major point of contention. Sarah Knight talks about having a f*ck budget as in you can only give a f*ck about so many things before you start exhausting your efforts and time. And if you can only give so many f*cks you don’t want to spend any on things you really don’t want to do. It was then that I began to understand that it was okay for me to not always want to participate in these get-togethers. But I still spent a lot of time feeling guilt over letter Jared and my friends down. Me not wanting to participate in this activities still seemed to mean that I was no fun and didn’t value my friends enough. It took time to realize that yes, I value them, but I don’t like big parties like I used to. I get overwhelmed once there are more than 8 people even if they are all close friends. I find as the quantity of people go up the quality of time goes down. I don’t have any fun, I zone out and I start to feel uncomfortable. However, as much as I want to be more Sam and not expend my f*ck budget on things that don’t make me happy at one point is that considered selfish? I am still trying to navigate the give and take especially where my marriage is concerned. Jared is only here 2 weeks of each month because of his work schedule. He wants to spend time with his friends and he wants me there too. Meanwhile I usually don’t enjoy myself at these big get togethers and I only get Jared 2 weeks out of every month. How do I be more Sam and be a good wife at the same time? So it’s all good and well knowing what I DON’T want to do, but it got me thinking about what I DO want to do? And the answers came a lot harder than you would expect. In the end I found hiking, reading, taking my dog to the dog park, feeding people, hanging out with a couple of friends, sunsets, live music and exploring new places bring me the most joy.

Marriage. Happy wife happy life right? Same probably goes for the husband, but it just doesn’t rhyme quite as well. This is something I’ve been wanting to focus on for a while now. I find myself very impatient with my husband and I feel a lot of guilt over that. He’s a very logical person who approaches each situation and decision with caution, thought and facts. I, on the other hand, approach pretty much everything with emotion and a need to act now and fast. They say opposites attract, but oftentimes I find myself hurt, misunderstood and fairly impatient when I find ourselves on opposite ends. So I really want to figure out some measurable goals that will help me improve and grow our relationship. From a couples counselling retreat to just trying to figure out ways to rein in my emotions I have been all over the map, but this is one of the most important components of my plan.

Friendship. While it’s true that I don’t want to hang out with 20+ friends at a time and maybe I don’t really like themed parties as much as I once thought I did my friends are still a very important part of my life. And I want to deepen and strengthen those relationships. Maybe that will mean more small dinner parties, coffee dates, hikes or starting some kind of book club I need to figure out who to up the quality of when we are together. And then there are the friends who don’t live in the same city of me. I want to find ways to make sure they know I am still thinking about them all the time and that I love them. My heart is divided between Nova Scotia and Toronto where some of my oldest and dearest friends reside. My heart hurts thinking about how much I miss them.

Family. I consider Jared and Bear to be my primary family, but our siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews are so important to me and I want them to know that. I need to think of some creative ways to keep in touch with them despite the distance.

And then some other parts of my happiness project are career, hobbies, having more fun, and being kind & generous.

Obviously my roadmap is extremely incomplete, but the wheels are turnings and I’m really looking forward to seeing how this all unravels.

Blog, you’re going to play a big part in this!