Hi Blog,

I can’t believe it was November 2016 when I started thinking about my happiness project. Was it really so long ago? I had all these grand ideas about how I was going to map out a clear route to take me directly to Destiny Happy. Leave it to me to overcomplicate happiness!

Here’s what really happened. In January I drank a smoothie every single day, gave up alcohol, worked out 3 – 4 times / week, woke up every morning at 6am, limited myself to 3 hours of tv each week, and ate my recommended servings of fruit and veg. My energy levels were through the roof!

In February I started targeting my mental health while still upping the ante for my January goals (more work outs, even less tv, you get the picture…). I added 20 minutes of self-help youtube videos to my daily schedule, 10 minutes of meditation in the morning, 5 minutes of practicing gratitude before bed, I deleted social media and spent an hour each day reading a self-help book.
When March came around I was exhausted, my back and SI joint were causing me pain from working out too hard and too fast, I was back on social media, and if I had to endure one more Brendan Burchard video about how to be the best version of yourself I was going to vomit.

I gave up on my happiness project, promising myself that I would return my focus on my project when I felt better. I poured myself a glass of wine, sat on the couch and started to dive deep back into my complacent and checked out self. The voice inside me quietly gave me the good ol’ ‘Told you so. It’s better this way, you’re safe staying where you are right now’.
And there I was back at square one. Anxiety and depression paralyzed me, and when it got too bad I quieted my discomfort with reality tv and a bottle of wine. I went right back to hating myself, and resenting everyone around me.

Fast forward to today. I’m cautiously hopeful that there is a simpler way to find happiness. I am looking deep inside to find what I need to start down the right path.
It starts with some important questions that I’ve only just begun to answer.

What is happiness?
What is preventing me from being happy?
What are my values?

This is me showing up again. The journey continues.

 

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